My Writing Career: How I Got My Book Deal
I got my book deal ten years to the day after I quit my newspaper career to try write a novel.
It happened in Barcelona on December 15, 2019 during a tour guide training course. I’d popped out for a break when an email came in from my agent to say an offer had come in for my debut novel, The Silent Daughter. I was stunned, delighted, terrified. After phoning my parents I went to a nearby café and sat alone with an espresso, trying to process what this meant for me.
My ‘book deal’ espresso, dribbles and all! I sat in silence, stunned…
By that stage I’d been very close to giving up hope. I’d been on submission with that book for more than six months and it had been knocked back by dozens of publishers. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the first two books I’d written had never been published. They’d been written, edited, sent on submission and rejected, over and over and over. My agent had never lost faith in me but I kept expecting her to ‘break up’ with me because it felt like my books just wouldn’t sell. I was wasting her time and my time and after ten years of failure, maybe I should take the hint.
But then it came.
That one YES that I’d dreamed of for so long – and the rest is history. Almost.
What you’ll find below are a few extracts from my personal diary, written while I was on submission in 2019. Some of it is quite embarrassing but it’s authentic, including the bullet points of my recurring thoughts! I was on submission for six months, but here’s some extracts explaining how I felt during the first three weeks. More will follow in a later blog post…
Notepad in hand, gazing into an unknown future…
Sunday 5th May, 2019 (three days after submission)
I feel like it’s a really good book and I know Caroline (my agent) rates it and I rate Caroline but...impossible to know. I do believe it deserves to be published.
My mind goes to -
Moment of getting call and email to say YES, who I’m with and where I am
What I’d wear to see agent/publisher
Author photo on book
Me telling former colleagues about being published – proving I’m not just a dreamer
Telling mum and dad - now you can be proud of me, I’ve not been wasting my time.
Tuesday 7th May, 2019 (almost a week after submission)
I got one rejection, 1 out of 24, yesterday and have asked Caroline NOT to email me unless there is good news. It’s a challenge not to check phone and a challenge to accept I’ve had such a quick rejection (swift pass, Caroline says). I thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much as before, but it hurts. Here’s where my mind goes to -
You’re kidding yourself if you think you’re a writer
You’re obviously not good enough
Everyone else expected you to fail too and they were right
Nobody takes you seriously as a writer (and why should they?)
They’re clearly bored reading it
You’ve spent your entire 30s doing this (and for what?)
It won’t just happen because you want it to and because you’ve persevered
But also my mind goes to -
For some reason thinking tomorrow, Wednesday, is the day I’ll get good news…
Saturday, May 25th 2019 (10 days after submission)
Surprised it’s only ten days. Feels like longer.
I’ve been reading a few blogs about this process - the aching moments between an agent submitting and actually hearing back. A lot of people know how it feels! And it seems most people have at least a few weeks or months wait so it’s made me feel slightly better that there’s not been an instant snapping up of my novel. Still, I asked Caroline NOT to tell me about rejections so my mind is occasionally wondering how many there have been. I also slightly stalked an editor I know has for reasons I don’t quite understand!
Anyway, since it’s the weekend I know I won’t get replies so I’m more relaxed. Kind of.
Friday June 7th, 2019 (3 weeks and 2 days on submission!)
I’ve been thinking about what success means - why I (and society) think that I’m a failure if this doesn’t get published. I know I’m not a useless human being if my book is not published but it might mean I’m a useless writer! Or…that awful phrase…not quite good enough.
And I KNOW that on the grand scale of things, it doesn’t matter. I have health and love and a life that I massively enjoy. But I want to be a writer too….
That’s all for now but I’ll be back soon with more diary entries about my time on submission - would love to hear your thoughts below…